I ate the pomegranate

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tehjai:

steel-plated-hearts:

a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

Jenna B. Lacey, age eleven, knew exactly what she was going to do with her life.

She was going to go to Hogwarts, get top grades, and be the youngest female Minister of Magic by age 35.

It would have been a good plan, if she hadn’t been in the same year as Harry Potter.

*   *   *   

Year one started out great. She was sorted into Hufflepuff, did well in all her classes, and aced the exams.

A troll smashed its way through the study room she was in on Halloween, but that wasn’t going to deter her. 

*   *   *   

Year two was a disaster. People were getting petrified, and worse—the teachers had to herd them from place to place, which severely cut down on her library time. She had to study in the common room, which meant instead of a nice, quiet atmosphere, she got a soundtrack of nervous Hufflepuffs.

And on top of that, exams were cancelled. It was a disaster.

*   *   *   

Third year, she started to notice a trend.

First the troll, than the petrifications, and now dementor guards and escaped convicts. What did they all have in common? Potter.

After Black broke in and everyone had to spend the night in the Great Hall, interrupting Jenna’s last minute studying for a test the next day, she took to giving Potter angry looks in every class.

He did not notice.

*   *   *   

They announced the Triwizard tournament at dinner the first night of fourth year, and Jenna almost started crying.

Potter was going to take this one over. She just knew it.

And she was right.

Voldemort rose at the end of the year. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected.

*   *   *    

Fifth year brought Umbridge. She joined the DA because she was going to need a better background in defense, but that didn’t mean she was any happier about Potter.

She imagined it was him she was hexing instead of Zachariah Smith.

But, by the end of the year, focus on her studies was impossible. After Dumbledore left, it was complete anarchy.

Potter’s fault. Of course.

*   *   *   

Sixth year she started volunteering in the hospital wing. She needed a backup plan in case Potter fucked it up.

All seemed quiet, until they brought Malfoy in. It was apparently Potter’s fault, which surprised everyone except Jenna.

Later, she was peacefully studying in a little nook on the third floor when some Death Eaters and some other adults started dueling right under her nose.

This was the worst fucking school, honestly.

*   *   *   

They were calling it “The Final Battle.”

Jenna ran through the hall, dodging in and out of the children evacuating, until she saw him. 

“POTTER.”

He turned, startled. “Um—Jenna, right? We’re sort of busy—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him up until he was eye level with her. “If I’m not Minister of Magic by age 35, it is going to be entirely your fault and I’m going to hurt you.”

She dropped him and stormed away, leaving him to whatever he was doing. She had to fight this goddamn war so she could go back to her fucking studying.

*   *   *   

She became Minister of Magic at age 36.

Fucking Potter.

I think I just found the best Harry Potter fanfic

(Source: itsvondell)

starfleetbabe:

i’m undestanding this thing a little better

made with emofuri

(Source: lightthefuze)

The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection FREE FOR ALL on Origin

simsfaq:

Because you’re a passionate The Sims 2 player, we’re making The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection available free of charge to download to your Origin library. To add the game, just follow these steps:

  1. Start by downloading and installing Origin. If you already have Origin you can skip to step 3.
  2. Not an Origin member? Create a free Origin Account to get in the game.
  3. Launch Origin and log into your Origin Account.
  4. From the ‘Games’ tab in the Origin menu, select ‘Redeem Product Code’ and enter the code
    I-LOVE-THE-SIMS 

If you’re already an Origin member, you can also redeem your code online. Just visit the Origin code redemption page and log in to your Origin Account. Then enter I-LOVE-THE-SIMS in the ‘Product Code’ field. 

Log into Origin and download and play the game any time you want .

Thanks for being a passionate The Sims fan, and enjoy your copy of The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection.

This code will available for redemption until July 31st, 2014 at 10AM PDT.

Source: EA.com Support.

(Source: shirtlesssuperheros)

The man is just batnip

-

A poster on CBR about Dick Grayson’s tendency to attract the dark and broody type.

:3

I like that. I’m gonna use that.

I usually don’t mention the name from other forum since I’m a lurker. I don’t feel comfortable putting anyone on the spotlight. but I wonder if this time I should give credit because I’m gonna use that term from now on ^^

(via asterglow)

(Source: )

dragondicks:

there’s a prevalent attitude in media that any sexuality other than heterosexuality is more sexual and adult than heterosexuality, which is the norm, the default and “innocent”. It needs to stop immediately

bangraa:

life-luxuries:

styleofdress:

because i hate it when people post these without recipes, here are all of them. some of these aren’t EXACTLY the same, but they’re close enough to still be delicious.

triple layer brownie cake / cherry bliss brownie / chocolate truffle layer cake / snickers peanut butter brownie ice cream cake / surprise inside ice cream balls / chocolate filled cream puffs / brownie cookies / chocolate snickers cake / chocolate lasagna / double chocolate brownies

Give me now pls

Why have I not reblogged this yet?! Gotta try these recipes later.

(Source: shams94)

stupiduglyfatcunt:

jeebuslouise:

specterinponyville:

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

I know how fat this makes me sound, but those Nutella & Peanut Butter crescent rolls actually have me drooling…

How the fuck does one “sound fat”? Can you keep your down low fatphobic bullshit to yourself so I can enjoy some fucking pictures of yummy food?

^^Thank you. Skinny people alway ruining shit with their guilt and shame.

themaraudersareawesome:

Yeah, but guys, can you imagine Remus Lupin going on a premiere of Les Mis in London (1985) because he loved the book and decided to finally go out and have a bit of fun and then hearing “Empty chairs at empty tables”? Because I just did and I am not okay.

"Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.”